why

I started this blog after reading a blog that Keith, who I went to school with, had started. He also has ME and I realised through reading what he was writing that it might help me if I can chart how I feel and what I'm doing. This might mean that reading this is quite dull for most people, but I'm hoping it will help me.

I feel it is partly my own fault that I have CFS. In June 2009 I got Glandular Fever. I had a week off work, and then returned. I was working with children in a variety of schools, and so I didn't return to the schools I just returned to office work and making sure that everything in the schools was covered. I carried on working until the summer holidays, even returning to do some bits and pieces in schools. As the summer holidays arrived I realised that keeping going was doing me no good, so I went to see the doctor, who signed me off. I was off for four weeks, and then off part time for a following six weeks. In all fairness I probably should have been off for longer, but I was the sole employee of the charity I worked for. I knew that if I was not there doing the work, planning assemblies, clubs etc then they wouldn't get done. So I decided to return part time to make sure the work continued. In September I was joined by a full time volunteer student worker. This meant that I felt I had to make even more of an effort to be at work and to be functioning fully. And so I pushed myself to keep going, to make sure that all things at work kept going. Because of this I never became fully well again from the GF, and have ended up now dealing with CFS and depression. You would think that I would have learnt from that, but no it turns out that I am still learning my lesson about resting enough and not pushing myself.

Chin Up

The name of this blog comes from something my husband often says when I'm feeling down or having a bad day. He will hug me, talk me through it, assure me that all will be ok smile and me and then say 'keep your chin up honey'. If most people said that to me I would feel that they are patronising me. When he says it it feels like a huge encouragement, it lets me know that he is with me through it and that things will be better.

I forgot to add when I first posted this, the doofas part is because I have often called myself roofus doofas, or just doofas - normally when I do something silly, such as 'oh you silly doofas' or 'what d'ya do that for roofus doofas.'