television

Well I was missing television when we first gave it up for lent. But now I don't at all really. The only time I really want to switch it on is when the husband is out for the evening and I've got little energy left. That is when the TV becomes my company. But I am finding other ways to keep myself occupied. The husband says he isn't missing it either, which is a good thing. I am finding that I am drawing nearer to God, learning more from him and hearing him more through the no TV than I am through my lent readings. Not that the readings are doing nothing, but I find it interesting as I thought it would be the other way round. It is also helping my health not having a constant sound and visual background to life. We have decided that at the end of lent we are going to start buying a TV listings guide and use that to pick and chose what TV we watch rather than sticking the TV on to see what is on and end up leaving it on.

I do feel that I should apologise, I am a lousy blogger, I often think of things to write but write nothing. My apologies to you if you check here every so often and find nothing new to read.

moving

Well after about 19 months of the house being on the market it looks like we finally will be moving! Some people came to look around the house at the beginning of last week (they are actually our next door but one neighbours), and they put an offer in on Friday. We have however over recent weeks had a change of plan. For those of you who knew we had been planning to move to Ipswich. But it would seem our plans weren't in line with God's and he wants us here in Derby. I think it is no coincidence that when we had just about decided we were staying we get our first viewer in five months, and they want to buy the house and offer a price that is high enough for us to accept. For those with any knowledge of Derby we are looking to move to Sunnyhill, a decision based on its distance from church and the price of houses around there. We would love to move to Heatherton/Littleover but houses in those areas are way outside our price range. So we are going to look at some houses this week and see what happens! More than anything else I am looking forward to having a garden and enough kitchen cupboard space to put things like plates and bowls and cooking equipment in cupboards. Oh and if I could have a gas hob I would be the closest to heaven I ever have been.

adventure

I went on a little adventure yesterday. There is a craft group at church that has just started. It is one where you turn up with your own craft and sit and natter as you craft. It was on yesterday afternoon, and I went. It meant I had to drive there, I've only driven that distance once since Christmas and that time it wiped me out for a couple of days. I managed that ok. I got a bit nervous about going because I'm not good with new things even though I knew the place I was going to and would probably know the people there. But I done it. I sat and done my crafting and a bit of chatting. And then the husband cycled over after work to drive me home coz we didn't want for me to wear myself out quite that much. It did wear me out a bit, I wasn't much good for all else the rest of the day and I didn't sleep great, but I don't feel as bad as I thought I would today. In fact I've made it to Asda today for a little bit of shopping, so I can't be feeling that bad at all.

We are now at day 8 of lent. I am missing TV more than I though I would. I think during the day, or in evenings when the husband is out I use it as company to stop myself feeling quite as lonely. There are also points in the day where I have become so used to the TV being on that I'm now thinking, well what do I do now? I don't want to increase my activity level too much at once but I need to do something. Maybe it's time to pull that cross stitch I've been working on for years out of the cupboard again.

four

This is day four of lent. So far all is good. The two hardest times to not have TV on are Neighbours at lunchtime, partly coz its Neighbours y'know and partly coz it denoted rest time. Now I have to try mega hard to remember about rest time on my own. I have to rest before I get tired and need it and so just waiting til I fell I need it doesn't work. The other time it's tricky is just after dinner. For probably the first time at home we have eaten dinner at the table for four days in a row. And then afterwards for an hour or so it's a bit like, oh so what do we do now. The evening doesn't seem to bring this around so much, just that hour or so after dinner. The lent book is well good mate. For a while now my Bible reading has just been reading a bit of the Bible and I am liking the combination of reading Bible, some thought on it and something to think about. I used to have some material that did this and I have missed it. Oh and (although for some reason it makes me slightly nervous to say this, not sure why) we are already hearing God on something that we had been chatting with him about for a while. And before I forget, one last thing, we have seen an improvement in my CFS symptoms this week. Wonder if it is all somehow connected......

lent

I have been pondering for a little while whether to do anything for lent this year. I decided that I if I did anything I wanted it to be something that helps me to focus on God and draw nearer to him. I was undecided at this point if it meant taking something up of giving something up. So when the husband and I were last in town we went into Wesley Owen. They had a little range of lent resources. Some were for groups with like five studies in them. Some were more deep then this little brain of mine could cope with. But there was one that takes you through the gospel of Luke, with a little reflection and bit for you think/pray about. So I got that one and was satisfied that I had what I needed for lent, I was going to take up reading this book every day through lent (as well as keeping up with the Bible in a year).

There was however something nagging at me that this wasn't quite all. And yesterday I realised what it was. Default setting in our house has become to have the TV on. It didn't matter whether or not there was something on you wanted to watch, it became the wallpaper to our lives. A while back after watching a programme about some people experiencing a silent retreat I and the difference to their lives that silence made, I decided that I was going to have silent mornings. This lasted about a week. Then the TV crept back in, along with the radio. I would have a silent rest, and that was about it. So during lent the TV is not going to be my wallpaper. I am giving up watching programmes as they are broadcast. I am not giving up watching things all together, if I am going to watch something it will be on the iplayer, 4od etc. This is to help me make a concious decision about what I am watching. I will listen to the radio more, and am determined to listen to those CD's that sit on the shelf and never get heard. The husband has decided that he will join me in this. The exception to this is live sport, as you cannot watch this again online. I know that one or two people will think that watching things online and having a live sport exception is a cop out. But my aim is not to cut things out completely, but to think about how I am using my time, to give us more talking time, more time doing things rather than sat with the box as company and hopefully more time with God as it will give us more time and space to pray, read the Bible and listen to music.

I know there are those who don't talk about what they are fasting from, who keep it as a between them and God thing. I however am hoping that talking about it helps me to be more accountable. Feel free to ask any time how its going and what effect its having.

off

I am now completely off the anti-depressants. We decided that I was doing much better, and I never really wanted to be on them but recognised that at the time it was the best thing to do. I am doing ok off them, I have the occasional little wobble but then have to remember that that happens to most people. It's a bit like I am now feeling my own feelings, when I am happy it is a proper happy feeling etc. It's not affected my CFS, which is something I was a bit worried about. It feels good to be off them, I know that we sometimes need medication to help us out and I sure did. But its nice not to need it too.

ouch

I get very tight shoulders and neck. I always have done but since being a poorly girl it has been at its worst. For Christmas I asked for some pennies for a massage to help relieve this and thank you to my lovely sister-in-laws I got the pennies. However it took us a little while to book it. But last night I had said massage. It wasn't a nice gentle relaxing beauty salon type massage, it was a mean sports massage. This is the one where they work on all the knots and tight bits and it hurts. However last nights pain was nothing compared to today. My back feels like its been punched all over. It feels like it is bruised bruised bruised. Whenever I tried to turn over in the night I had to sit up so that my back didn't brush on the mattress. And now sitting down is hurty if I lean back. But you know it is worth it. I can't feel any of the tension, I can move freely, it is lovely.