paint

The main job for this weekend is to paint the kitchen. We have spent time over the last two days cleaning the walls and ceiling - a tricky job as the previous owner of this dear house used to smoke and fry food a lot. We found a solution to the ceiling cleaning carefully using our wallpaper steamer. This had to be carefully done as the steamer will remove artex if left on it for too long. Today while the husband is at work I will lay cloths in the kitchen and start on the walls. I am having to be slightly more careful of how much I do at the moment as my body has decided to throw other illnesses my way at the moment, most noticeably a shore throat and a funny pain in my side, the latter of which the doctor is running various tests to see what might be causing it. In most people a poorliness would slow you down a bit, when you have CFS you have to make sure you slow down more so that the CFS symptoms don't increase as your body fights the other ills. In other news we have done all of our Christmas shopping, and as presents wait to be wrapped I get to sit next to a fair few Yankee Candles as I type this. The smell of the unlit candles is amazing. If anyone ever wants to cheer this doofas up a Yankee Candle would go a long way to doing that. I am tempted to not wrap these presents until the last minute just to benefit from their fragrances.

pots

I realised this evening that I was starting to feel better because after dinner I wasn't thinking 'I just need to sit down now'. Instead I was thinking of jobs that needed doing and doing them. Sorting the shopping and putting the pots away were jobs that were un-doable at any point of the day at the beginning of the week. Today they were jobs that were done post-dinner with energy to spare. So now I can look forward to the weekend knowing that I will be able to manage a bit of Christmas shopping on Saturday as well as be able to see some fab friends on Sunday. Hooray for being more better.

struck

Over the weekend I have been struck down by some throat/gland affecting bug. It's of the level that in the real world I would be able to carry on as normal, but in CFS world I have to slow life down even more. Saturday I was able to do this, spending most of the day on the sofa. Yesterday was the baptism of a most lovely lady at church in the morning, and a kinda leaving do for us in the evening. So yesterday was spent more busy than it maybe should have been. So today become another sofa day. With maybe a little bit of washing thrown into the mix coz doing absolutely nothing is not good for the CFS. Thankfully the husband agrees to this course of action, which means lots of hugs when he gets in from work and dinner cooked for me. I am blessed.

heart

Since being poorly I have felt little passion in my heart. I used to know my hearts song well, things I was passionate about, things that got me excited, things I had to be a part of. But the CFS seemed to take that away. Whilst draining my body it also drained my heart. I didn't long for anything, I didn't hurt for anything, I didn't want to be part of anything. However the last month or so my heart has been singing again. I have been able to dream and long to work with children once again. I have seen or been involved in things that make my heart love and long and ache. It is exhilarating and painful at the same time. Exciting to want things again, to want to be part of something, to long to be involved. Hurty that I don't have the energy to do so in the way I might want, or have been in the past. But we have a plan. Once settled in new church there should be opportunity to be involved in small ways in things that sing that my hearts song. Knowing it is coming is allowing my heart not to hurt so much, and letting its song grow louder.

ten

In the last week I have gone to bed after 10pm on four nights. Not abnormal for most people, but unusual for me. Normally its bed by half nine at the very latest. I have had no increase in my CFS symptoms. Just saying.

freinds

This afternoon we had the privilege of spending some time with the loveliest of friends, and they reminded me that I don't write on here often enough. I'd been having a few things running round the back of my brain that I wanted to write, but I couldn't quite work out how. I'm going to write about those things some other time because right now I want to pay tribute to fab friends. There are some people I spend time with that are just draining. I leave time in their company feeling like I need to sleep for a week. Some people, however, are the complete opposite. Time spent in their company really energises. I might be having a rubbish day, but seeing them picks me right up. And so when Mrs R rang this week to see what we were doing today, despite being at a noon wedding and the evening reception (normally enough to see me off in one day) I jumped at the chance of meeting for coffee. Because these are friends that energise, whose company is easy and fun. Seeing Mr and Mrs R and their heavenly child has added to my day, not left me heading for bed. These are the kinds of friends that aid my recovery. I have not found many people that this is true of, a few people in our home town, and a few friends from my old home town. I am extremely grateful for each and every one of them. I would be more poorly without them in my life.