heart

Since being poorly I have felt little passion in my heart. I used to know my hearts song well, things I was passionate about, things that got me excited, things I had to be a part of. But the CFS seemed to take that away. Whilst draining my body it also drained my heart. I didn't long for anything, I didn't hurt for anything, I didn't want to be part of anything. However the last month or so my heart has been singing again. I have been able to dream and long to work with children once again. I have seen or been involved in things that make my heart love and long and ache. It is exhilarating and painful at the same time. Exciting to want things again, to want to be part of something, to long to be involved. Hurty that I don't have the energy to do so in the way I might want, or have been in the past. But we have a plan. Once settled in new church there should be opportunity to be involved in small ways in things that sing that my hearts song. Knowing it is coming is allowing my heart not to hurt so much, and letting its song grow louder.