tape

When my father last visited he bought with him a tape of his and my mum's wedding. It was a spare copy (I think it used to be my Grandparents) and he kinda subtly handed it over as his new wife was with him. I put it on the shelf and forgot about it until yesterday. Yesterday I pulled it out and put it on in the background while I was doing some other stuff. The other stuff soon got forgotten and I listened avidly to this tape. Mum and Dad both sounded so young. They were in their mid-20's when they got married but it sounded like it could have been ten years earlier. As well as being able to hear my mums voice again, when I flipped the tape over to the speeches on the other side I heard my Grandad's voice for the first time. He died a year before I was born, four years after mum and dad got married. He, and Grandma who died five years later, were not spoken about that often in our home. I think it might have been mum's way of coping with losing them both. It was the first glimpse I'd really got into what he was like. He sounded so warm and friendly and fun. I wish that I had been able to know him. I sometimes feel that having not known my Grandad and having no memory of my Grandma has somehow left me not quite fully knowing who I am. I look at my siblings and cousins, and at who my mum and auntie were and through that catch glimpses of my Grandparents but this tape was one of the first times I've ever felt I've known either of them in any way. It challenges me to try and keep memories of my mum alive, to not forget or let others forget who she was.