Pathetic

I have spent a few days at my father's house. It was nice, but I do find it harder to pace myself when I am away from home, and even harder when I am away from the husband.

When away I got to see the very lovely Amy and Rich. They are very super duper people that I wish I could see more of. While we were chatting Amy asked me if I was keeping a diary of what I was doing, how was pacing myself. This is something that the Chronic Fatigue Service have told me to do. But its something that I haven't yet done. Amy asking me got me to thinking why I hadn't done it yet. And I realised that it was because I was worried that doing so would make me feel fairly pathetic. What I can manage to do now is so much less than I used to be able to do when I was well. If I see written down what I have done in a day I run the risk of feeling like a big bag of patheticness as I realise how little I can achieve. However writing down what I am doing will help me to actually pace myself well, as I can look back and see where I was doing too much, when I was not resting enough etc. And by charting what I have done will be a good way to see how I am progressing, to know how and when I am getting a bit better. By not writing it down I am missing out on the benefits from doing so. I think I need to start keeping a diary. I may use this blog to do so, or may just stick to the old paper and pen, we'll see!